Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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