Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
