Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize