Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize