after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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