I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
