I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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