Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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