Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
