The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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