Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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