She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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