she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
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You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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