hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
