the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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