yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
