Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
