u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
