I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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