She said her name was "party"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
