Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
