He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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