Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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