She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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