summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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