guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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