plz talk dirty to me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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