I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
