He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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