i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
