the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize