Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
