I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
