i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
