oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
