So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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