I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize