Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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