I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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