A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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