4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
