i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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