can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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