the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
