day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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