You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
