worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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