You just made me feel so damn special
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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