You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
