I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
