Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
