she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
