There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
