It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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