Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
