it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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