At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
