I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
