hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
