I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
